So I Failed Miserably

Yup, I did. I failed miserably at breastfeeding. It's all I wanted to do. I was all prepared for it. At least, I thought I was. It started ogg wrong in the hospital when Colin wasn't latching properly and blistered my nipples. He blistered them so bad that I had to stop breastfeeding and start pumping b/c it hurt so bad. Well, since i had to do that I wasn't emptying my breasts of the milk fully, so I became engorged. Very painful, might I add. I waited too long to get help for the engorgment, so my milk supply went down. By the time that I wasn't engorged anymore, I was ready to try breastfeeding again, but now my problem was the milk supply. Colin went back to the breast, again making my nipples sore, so back to pumping, and back to the milk supply issue. After an engorgement, sore nipples x3, and 3 visits with a lacatation consultant and a couple hundred dollars later...I still failed miserably at breastfeeding. Am I depressed? You bet. Do I feel like an ass? Sure do. I mean, this is supposed to be the most natural thing to do...and I can't. Little Colin boy is now on formula. The mention of breastfeeding or breasts, or breastmilk, or pumps or anything of that nature still brings tears to my eyes. I think I've cried over this more than I should have, but it really bothers me that I can't do it.