So, I've been thinking lately *insert jokes here*, and my thoughts have come back to God a lot lately.
I call myself a Christian. I go to church every week. I sing praise & worship songs at church. I listen to Christian music in my car during the week. I serve in a hospitality ministry at church. I pray daily (I'll get back to that later). So, I claim to be a Christian, but am I?
Actions speak louder than words. I also curse like a truck driver (not in front of the kids). I say mean and hurtful things. I don't make it a priority to 'spend time with God' daily. My prayers (what little there is) are selfish. I am quick to anger...and even quicker to hold a grudge.
I think I've determined that I'm a 'Christian' on the weekends. What a crappy realization. I don't have God in my life. I let Him in on Sabbath, and I politely ask Him to leave come Monday morning so I can live my life.
I need to work on me. I need to work on my attitude, my beliefs, my thoughts. I need to invite God into my life to change me...to make me a better person. I yearn to be a better person...no, I need to be a better person.
I think it's going to be a rough journey, b/c I want God to open my eyes to everyone and everything around me. If that person/place/thing isn't going to help me in my walk with God, I want to have my eyes opened to that.
I need this. For me. For my boys. For my family.
Please pray for me.